Curt Mueller won an auction for a piece of gum supposedly chewed by Luis Gonzalez of the Arizona Diamondbacks. My problem with this: Mueller isn't even a fan of Gonzalez. He only did it for the publicity to sell his own competing brand of gum, which I won't mention. The seller was Jason Gabbert, who impersonated Aaron Sele formerly of the Mets, now a minor league pitching instructor for the Dodgers. By impersonated, I mean he was charged with forgery for trying to open a checking account in Sele's name. But this was out of fanaticism for the game, and the athlete. I've come close to that degree of fanaticism. Fortunately I have several reasons not to get that carried away. The top five, in no particular order:
1. My IROC Z
2. The Allegiance Elite Marching Band
4. Collecting Daggers (thanks A.J!)
5. Metal Detecting at the Sandy Beach park
I highly suggest to those of you who are racked with pain when your team loses to get more pasttimes, unless you're an Edmonton fan and deserve the pain. If you're an Edmonton fan, you should complete the lobotomy (you're so close!) and join a year-round cuddle party.